It's hip to be square

Yesterday I was browsing through some glossy advertisements masquerading as a men's fashion magazine. All the chaps had pocketsquares and now I have to get one also, for the wedding. A little extra effort for a little extra touch of class for a remarkable day. I'm even going to learn how to fold them all sorts of ways. At the moment, I like the sound of 'the Cagney'. 

If I get loads of compliments, however, and I damn well better, I might also just start wearing them for kicks. This is dangerous. For a square of cloth, they are surprisingly expensive. 

No, it's not a hanky. I already carry those. 

 

more suit shenangians

I have picked a grey suit because it will match the newly-sprouting grey hairs in my sideburns.

Dressing well is all about complementing your natural colours, innt?

Caketoppers

I have proposed that Vicky and I use knight lego cake toppers. What do you reckon? This is just about all that I have contributed to the wedding planning so far. I am such a prince!

(Knightly prince, as you can clearly see above; not )

I know that using Legoes as cake-toppers is a bit old hat nowadays, everybody and their kids at least having thought about it already, but I have gone the extra inch and personalised it a little.

In case you are unaware, I blimmin' went mental for knight lego when I was a young chap in short pants.  About the only other thing that ever consumed my youthful mania as much was Marvin the Martian but I doubt that there was ever a lady Martian. Bugs probably dressed up as one in an episode at some point -- that was his schtick -- but I'm not having that on my wedding cake. I've nothing against cross-dressing communities or even intergalactic inter-species homoeroticism; it's just that neither is really representative of me. 

So, that's why there's a knight for me and a princess for Victoria. The image above contains my only princess piece from my grand lego collection. We might have to get a new one, or at least a new head. The one above doesn't really look like my actual princess (she is brown-haired, though the lips, hips and pointy hat are uncanny in their resemblances) but I have posted it to give you the general idea until a better one can be found. The knight is, of course, my splitting image. We could almost pass as twins, except for the height difference. I'm taller than that. And I'm taller than Vicky too, pointy hat notwithstanding.

Postscript: Between scratching out the above and typing it into the internet, I also thought that we could use some old trolls as cake toppers. You know the ones: with the awful hair. Vicky and I discovered that we both quite liked those when young and unaware of each other's existence. It's kind of fitting because it turns out we grew up near each other and may well have gazed at the same collection in the same shop in our neighbourhood. I'm not 100% sure, however. They will also be a bit ugly. On the plus side, I will get to sing about being a troll man.

(Almost) Sorted for Suit!

I realised yesterday that this blog is too much being silly. This is a mistake. Not only should this blog be my ridiculous attempt at being humourous, it should also be informative to help other chaps out when their day comes - or to give them the opportunity to rue properly if they are reading this too late. After all, that is what the people want! Well, realistically, what they want is to see norks, car chases and a cuddle from cocky handsome rogue with a heart of gold -- but I'm sure this is a winner too. Besides, those things are all inappropriate and this is a SFW blog. Nevertheless, I don't even encourage you to look at it at work, you slack moochers.

A while back, I aksed what the difference between a wedding suit and a regular wedding suit might be. None of you slack moochers helped out, so I looked it up all by myself. It's the lapels. (Wikipedia is reliable, too, yes?) Naturally, I will be wearing proper pointed lapels at my wedding.  Also, no stripes - but I knew that already.

For what it's worth, I was always on the right track. Pointed lapels do seem to cost more, for whatever reason. I realise that there is a touch of extra material to the points and they are probably a little trickier to cut-and-sew but, well, it's near-extortion, really, innit?

I have only found one non-pinstriped pointed lapel Ben Sherman suit in my half-hour whirlwind of looking. It's nice -- a good fit and the right colour -- but do I buy the first Off-the-Rack (or 'OTR' as the internet says) suit I see? Do I even buy an OTR?  Perhaps it is as bad a choice as buying a VCR? Weddings are apparently really special, or something, so perhaps I ought to get one made especially, measured and tailored and all. We will be visiting Malaysia in a wee bit. I wonder if they have good suitsmen.

And then I just have to pick what sort of necktie I'd be wearing. Oh, and shoes. Vegan shoes. Socks. Cufflinks. I probably should get a new shirt too, really. Cripes. I'm really going to run out of time in this caper.