Shoe madness

Hullo. I know it has been a while between posts but I have been overseas meeting imminent in-laws and stealing wedding ideas from same. Really, I intended to blog about that on my return, and to finish off the long-awaited, much-anticipated finale regarding my proposal to Vicky. Both of those things will have to wait, however, as I'm currently going a bit mental about shoes. You can't really stop fixations, anyway, without hard work or expensive therapy and I can't have that. I've a wedding to plan and pay for.

I had the shoes all planned, you see. I was going to wear these because I thought they would provide an acceptable level of eccentricity to my outfit. Also, they are vegan shoes, which is commendable, without looking ridiculous and plasticky, which is remarkable, and they are a nice blue colour. I figures this would work nicely with my pale blue liberty wedding tie and my blue gingham pocketsquare, both of which I picked up on the overseas holiday. Blue ought to contrast nicely with my dark charcoal suit (that fits perfectly, I might add, Off-The-Rack, with no shoulder divots, a snug-buttoned fit that still features room to move, a length at which my fingers curl appropriately under the end, and my much-sought-after peak lapels). Blue is also something of a wedding colour, innit? Or is that just for the ladies? Either way, I have read that blue is a symbol of faithfulness, purity and loyalty, and there isn't anything wrong with that, even if it sounds a bit labrador-ish.

Anyway, despite my best intentions and brilliance, I left it too late and now the internet no longer seems to stock my size in that Fluevog shoe. Boo, internet! This has made me sad.

(I'm also miffed that I missed my chance - by mere seconds -  to buy a Paul Smith grey waistcoat, at nearly 80% off [I had a thing for an additional 30% off already reduced prices] to go with my suit. It sold out when I clicked on 'add to cart'. Vicky thinks that a waistcoat will look dashing. I rather hope that I will look dashing without one. Sure they are awesome and I do appreciate how some consider them essential for formal attire, which I'm going for, and they are still the best place to keep one's fobwatch - but at what price awesome?)

So, I have been scouring the internet for new wedding shoes and, of course, not finding any that I like that come under 600 pounds, which, let's be reasonable, is a bit ridiculous for a pair of shoes on my salary, no matter how spectacular and handmade and wonderful they are, with or without a free shoe tree.

While searching, I have learned a lot. I now know the difference between oxfords and derbys (or balmorals and bluchers for the seppos*), and why the difference matters, and what a vamp is, outside of an orally-fixated teenager's maudlin love obsessions.

However, I am yet to buy anything. Also, I should clarify that although I have learned an awful lot about shoes for somebody who is neither rich or a cobbler, and have been staying up far too late shoe-searching on the intertubes instead of sleeping, I swear that I have not grown a vagina.

It's all just to look superb on my wedding. Come the 22nd of October, I'll be back to wearing No Sweat Ethletic sneakers most everywhere.

So, yeah, can anybody recommend a good pair of oxfords for a wedding? I'm thinking about the ones below, but it may be a bit too much Ben Sherman, which isn't my name, obvs.

*Vicky tells me that 'seppos' is offensive, though the internet, even conservapedia(!),  tells me that it can also be 'playfully admiring'. The truth, as usual, is probably somewhere in the middle,so please don't take any undeserved offence.