Still stuffed.

This weekend has been a touch of a fizzer. Vicky and I scoured Fremantle in search of alternative wedding ceremony venues. We didn't have much luck. To sum it up for you, the alternative venues that the City of Fremantle have suggested for us, to compensate for their bungling of construction timetables, are:

1. A decrepit, vacated office building.
2. Yet another beachside venue currently adjacent to construction work.
3. A squarish patch of grass between two major roads, overlooked by a disused warehouse and home to some of the local drunks.
4. A nature reserve contaminated with asbestos.
5. A lovely riverside park underneath a highway traffic bridge. 

Bravo, CoF! You have truly excelled here. Unfortunately, I have some small problems with all of the above. Allow me to spell them out below:

1. I don't want to feel as though I am going to work on my wedding day, especially if my workplace has rotten, asymmetrical, inconsistent carpeting; paint peeling from the walls; a funny smell; and rooms too small to fit most of my guests in easily enough.
2. If we wanted to get married on the beach nearby a construction site, we would remain at bather's beach, thank you. It is much, much closer to our reception venue, has a lovely sheltering limestone art gallery to host the nuptials, and comes with fewer grots. 
3. I think I would feel slightly cheated to pay for the use of some moderately-tended lawn sandwiched between busy pedestrian and automobile traffic and open to all. I'd also feel slightly guilty to inconvenience the delightful tramps who may live there. 
4. I am deathly allergic to dying of asbestos-related diseases. The ineffective intermittent quarantine fencing doesn't really make for pleasing photographs either, I'll wager. 
5. In the hopes that the ceaseless roar of traffic overhead wouldn't drown out our heartfelt vows, this venue would be just about perfect. Sadly, I have this ridiculous hang-up about feeling like a common troll while loitering under a bridge. Furthermore, to do so would lend additional weight to Vicky's argument that we ought to have troll-doll wedding caketoppers. This won't do. I've already bought the princess Lego piece that looks like her and I'm not having my money wasted.

Luckily, we are fine-tuning a Plan B. Is it possible to get married on a boat? Even if the boat is not at-sea?