Frivolous, perhaps, but also very important news because the wife and I have now secured a celebrant to legally marry us. No longer are we just having a smashing, dressy knees-up - we'll be legitimately in matrimony afterward.
However, the legitimacy of our wedding pales in comparison to the really, really big reveal: our celebrant also celebrants at pet weddings. Ha! I can feel your envy from here.
This is exceptional news because it means that, once properly married ourselves, we might be able to snag a discount on getting our two cats hitched. More to the point, it also gives the chance to trial-run the service first, allowing us to fine-tune and perfect the ceremony prior to the cats' big day.
Yes, getting married primarily so the cats can have a smoother run for their own commitment is perfectly in keeping with the preferential treatment usually afforded to our fuzzy bundles of claws. Don't believe me? Check out the list:
- If I were to stay out all night, slinking around in other people's backyards, I would get in trouble.
- If I were to constantly whine about not being allowed out all night so that I could slink about in other people's backyards, I would get into trouble.
- If I ever freak out and hide under the car, I will not be offered handfuls of my favourite food to coax me out.
- If I plucked at people's trousers and pleaded to be picked up, I would not be called 'adorable'.
- I am not encouraged to evacuate my bowels in the garden.
- I doubt very much that it will be tolerated when I am caught squirming and writhing on top of my girlfriend's shoes. (I fear this day will come very soon.)
- Nobody else is allowed to lick his/her bum on the dining table and then have a sleep.
- The younger pud probably has more toys than me - and I have a lot of toys.
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